I Am More Qualified Than A Stick: My Campaign Platform

(updated 07/18/2022)

A MANDATE OF EQUILIBRIUM

(because calling it Politically Enlightened Austerity is too frightening)

I've spoken well before and have written well before, generally without concern of speaking or writing well. I am a high school dropout with an anxiety-fueled appreciation of academia. These things you need to know about me as I hum and haw at whatever official podiums are offered during Victoria's upcoming mayoral race.

My platform is radical and, on the surface, ridiculous. I would see a reversal of the condominium hellscape growing around us. I would see a total correction of the brazenly-imposed addiction epidemic, and I would see the inception of a globally-renowned volunteer gardening project that would blanket this city in food.

These things are easy to say, bringing to mind the dichotomy between what can be considered as 'the noble ideal' versus what can be considered as 'the noble reality'.

The 'noble reality', once I became mayor, would be that almost every initiative offered will be resisted at almost every level. Leaving my power and authority to, at best, vote no where a generic establishment mayor would vote yes and vise versa. Surprisingly, with significant support coming from a suppressed police community which stands to have the respect and honour lost under Victoria's long standing municipal cabal rekindled. Presupposing I'm not assassinated day one.

The 'noble ideal' being an acceptance of the truth of the 'blue bridge' scandal. That we did not incur fantastic debt because we needed to replace it, we needed to replace it to incur fantastic debt. $120,000,000+ to build an earthquake resistant bridge that isn't earthquake resistant. Putting the City in an unfortunate position where it must build up and steal the sky in an attempt to put ourselves in the black. A cultish lack of foresight pretending there will always be enough food and water for an exponentially expanding population.

The 'noble ideal' being an acceptance of the truth that the addiction epidemic has been imposed by those who see only danger to the housing market upon the normalization of tent-cities. That crack, crystal meth and heroin has invaded our streets and crushed the peace of public spaces not as a natural consequence of rampant and 'immoral' capitalism but instead as a phenomenon that has been literally fostered and allowed, to imbue into the minds of the public the 'inherent unfeasibleness' of living rent-free in public.

REGARDING THE MUNICIPAL BUDGET

We are ridiculously in debt yet pretending affluence in an attempt to not frighten off investors. I, on the other hand (being a poverty-avowed monk) see the legitimacy that would be gained via prioritizing a non-psychotic escape from our current indentured state. Instead of arbitrarily building as many skyscrapers as possible to simply give the appearance of revenue generation we would acknowledge that the world is actually entering an almost unimaginable financial collapse and do everything in our power to find fiscal balance without actually resigning ourselves to the backroom schemes of manufacturing consent.

Equating austerity with maturity we will sell every non-essential municipally-owned asset, criminally investigate the 'blue bridge' nonsense (ultimately seeking complete forfeiture of personal assets to the municipality from those who signed off on the loan). We garnered fantastic debt implicitly depending on the capacity to build condos everywhere. Ceasing the condo construction means finding a way to escape our indentured status that doesn't include this acceptance of normalized psychotic marketing to arbitrarily attract people to come pay rent here.

ON POLICING

As Mayor of Victoria I will work to initiate a new, free/creatively-affordable, deputy training program. Which will be overseen by police veterans and martial instructors who will teach conduct (protocol, the nature of conscientiousness and why innocent presumption is so important) and combat taijutsu. I've in mind a grand obstacle course that will attract the respect of police forces and militaries worldwide.

As it stands, this City has adopted a philosophy of facade. No longer will we insist on 'keeping up appearances' by buying new police cars every year, instead we'll enjoy maintaining what we already have. That said, I've seen the usefulness of having one or two personal flying machines (akin to the Flyboard Air) at the disposal of the City's emergency services.

If by the time I would become Mayor there is still capacity to select the Chief of Police I will be doing so from within their own ranks.

ON THE CORRECTION OF THE ADDICTION EPIDEMIC

The inception of a 'diversion' (in the category of 'community service', allowing the waiving of charges if certain conditions are met) of a 3-4 month detox (where tobacco and marijuana are available). The program would also accept voluntary intakes. For this to work we will also need strictly dry (from crack, crystal meth and heroin) tent-cities so that those in the program are not faced with having to pretend to love the system that inspired their addiction in the first place to reintegrate into society.

Simply, we cannot afford to acquiesce to the faux progressivism any more. What we've done is monstrous. Like putting out a million bird-feeders knowing full well we only have enough feed for a very short amount of time. Every addict has been a pawn. Responsibility for every life and family that has been destroyed lies on the doorsteps of City Hall and the Chamber of Commerce and whatever other forces that helm the politics of Victoria. Anywhere else we'd be calling it a war crime.

The amount of money spent buying and maintaining converted hotels and providing food and services (for years now) would have covered the cost of mass detox multiple times over.

At the beginning of the pandemic the province of BC was given 5 billion dollars in an effort to help us through. I imagine Vancouver Island/Victoria was given a fifth of it. When it runs out (I would guess within the next couple of years) what will we have to show?

ON TENT-CITIES AND GARDENS

Tent-cities cannot work without the cooperation and sanction of the City. The bad addictive drugs have been a perfect weapon in helping the general public not care about obviously Charter violate Bylaws that insist the public doesn't have the right to sleep during the day.

You know why Cities put themselves in debt? Because declaring states of emergency is bad for tourism. In the fall of 2008 this city was given the rarest opportunity with the BC Supreme Court's acknowledgement of sleep as a right but foresight was hidden under it's greed. So instead it escalated the problem while removing opportunity to set a learned foundation. They call it politics.

I see Charter compliant community driven tent-cities that are populated with those who know ALL obnoxious behaviour may as well be a professional affront to sow disrepute. I see family tent-cities, I see student tent-cities. I see gardener tent-cities. I see traveler tent-cities. All appreciating the natural bounds of tent-city's existence.

With the notoriety of being the first city in the Commonwealth to sanction tent-cities of course there will be risk of attracting the poor and rent-adverse from all over Canada. Which is why it will be incumbent on the City to let every other municipality in the nation know of the precedent set in the BC Supreme Court so they they can establish their own responses in their own towns.

Speaking of gardens. The City will engage in a popularization of insightful gardening, offering a path to those born to it. AKA food grows on trees and healthy sleep is mechanically possible without rent. With all parks departments at our disposal there is great advantage. Every lawn owner given the option to take half the produce if their space can be managed by the volunteer project.

VACCINE MANDATES AND MY TINFOIL HAT

Why is it so hard for people to conjecture a scheme to cement global domination coming from within our own government? Many are indignantly vocalizing the stress of staffing shortages only months after firing thousands. Even the primary homeless association, Our Place Society, will not have completely healthy non-vaccinated people help mop, do dishes or fold towels, even while their own staff are going bonkers with the stress of a wholly unnatural circumstance.

As the mayor of Victoria I would not bother working to outlaw the Freemasons beyond just shining with the truth so much so that they would simply diminish, drowning in their shame. I very much have a beautification project in mind for their 'Grand' temple at 666 Fisgard (side note: look up 666 Pandora Avenue on Google Maps).

The world is changing and to survive we will need dependence on community. Time to be bold and stoic, challenging all our subtle complicities and preconceptions. We just have to know how bad it is to let the darkness rule the night. AKA it is abominable that a municipality put itself into debt. Obviously it was a naïve 'everyone else is doing it' thing, but the hard fact is a noble city does not let itself become desperate because then it is owned.

My name is David Arthur Johnston and I cannot be bought or instigated. I am painfully aware of the necessity of declaring a state of emergency and the impossibility of doing so in a town that presumes to depend on a billion dollar tourism industry. In this regard, I know the middle way. I was made for this.

PS: As Mayor my poverty-avowment will be reconciled by acting as I did in preparation of my monkish transformation. Which is to say I will do what is possible and necessary to bring Victoria's books into the black so that it may responsibly face the future without being indentured. I will also not be accepting a salary (to the potential joy of the mother of my children if she is inspired to sue).

PPS: If you think free-will is real you are a victim of genuine brainwashing. Mechanically, there is only one thing/motion which all that exists is an extension. We do not choose, life divines (analyzes) through it's experience towards what it perceives as it's best peace. Its the actual reason pride is sin/insane. Knowing evil is a fiction we lose the capacity to hate. Knowing what God looks like grants the boggling wisdom of knowing what God doesn't look like. Patience be with us all.